It suddently occured to me.
He was lying to me all along. Its just that I choose not to see it.
But when the truth slaps me in the face I opened my eyes when its painful.
I felt so much for our relationship.
Yes. Even now. I then realise. Nothings changed in our relationship except I can choose to turn an blind eyes on his other doings.
To not feel genuine love from him.
It hurts badly but I choose it. Just ride along until the time is up.